The Dreaded Birthday Song!!!

'All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts...' ~Shakespeare
Whether it is a table of college girls, a family or a couple-when the server is informed of a birthday at their table a small amount of disappointment washes over them. This is not a personal attack on the birthday person, but more an expression of the ridiculousness chain restaurants have bestowed upon their staff-and the staff must execute it in a big way.
The staff member is then responsible for making the free dessert, organizing the other unwilling servers to help (the phrase 'herding cats' comes to mind) and doing it in a timely fashion as not to take too long or have the other tables' service suffer. This process can become an intricate dance. On top of it all, the tip is rarely affected by this activity-the guest expects it as they do toilet paper in the bathroom.

While I've never seen a tip exponentially increased for an effective birthday song, I have seen them diminished for a poorly executed one.
Here are my examples of bad birthday song executions and how they should be done.
1. The song is sung quietly. The birthday song does not need to be screamed, but a healthy volume is required. Think: expressing frustration at a sporting event loud. Think: New Yorker loud. It pains me to relay this point to a new server and then have them whisper the song. The server has just made a bigger ass out of themselves (and all those co-workers helping) than had they just done it right and gotten it over with. Now, they stand a risk of having their tip impacted as well...remember from my last entries: never give them an excuse to give a bad tip.
2. Too few people singing. The number of people helping should be in direct relation to how busy the restaurant is. If the restaurant is packed, you should be able to swing around seven staff to help. If the restaurant is slow, four (including yourself) is a reasonable number. I would never go fewer than four, three looks awkward and pathetic. The point is to make an impression-not make the person look as lame at your trio of co-singers. Also, if the establishment requires you to do this activity, it is then the responsibility of the entire staff-including the kitchen staff. You come up short on bodies (again, this usually only happens when staff is cut down and its slow), you start pulling from the kitchen. Its just as much their responsibility for good service as yours. Plus, its good for the kitchen to see the public faces every now and again-remind them who they're cooking for. If this is an issue, it should be brought up with the highest manager you have in your store. Plead your case, and he'll fall in line.
3. Not preceding the song with an announcement. Guests, whether its their birthday or not, are aware that restaurant establishments perform for birthdays. Some guests even enjoy temporarily excusing themselves from their own dinner to participate in the clapping and singing for a moment. This festive environment is what most people are looking for when going out to eat. I find the regimented clapping until reaching the table most effective, some people like to hoot and holler as well, so be it! Dont forget, working in a restaurant is the activity of constantly hosting a party.
I enjoy the grand announcement: 'Attention (Insert restaurant name here) guest! We have a special guest here tonight, (Insert guest's name here) is celebrating his birthday this evening! Join me in giving him a round of applause!'...or something like that. And yes, I always get their name and WRITE IT DOWN! Lots of things can happen from that moment-please do not say the wrong name too! On occasion, you will receive a name that may be hard to pronounce. I recommend writing it phonetically-that way you're not stumbling over it when you have all those eyes on you.
Now its time for my BIGGEST pet peeve!
4. Having another server take charge of the song for YOUR table! I used to have staff try and pull this one by me before and it was always the same two types of people: I'm too cool to do this. OR I'm too shy to do this.
In regards to Mr. Cool-you're a server in a chain restaurant. You're not cool and actually you look really stupid to your table who is trying to figure out why their server is not taking lead on this. Typically Mr. Cool is too cool to roll silverware, too cool to cut lemons and from my manager's perspective-too cool to get the good sections. If you are unwilling to do the work, you do not get the reward. Have fun in two-top land where I will be keeping you until you decide you're ready to play ball.
In regard to Miss Shy-usually this really just takes some practice and a pep talk. These people can be pretty easy to convert over to the noisy, dark-side. I had one girl who didn't think she clapped loud enough so we got a tambourine for the restaurant and for some reason that made her voice louder too! I had another person who just needed a little more practice with the wording...shy people are typically not confident because they are not certain of what they're doing. Once they become certain-they're unstoppable!
On a side note: I didn't mind doing the birthday song. Sometimes it was an excuse to yell in the restaurant and blow off some steam (in a productive way) on a bad night. Sometimes it was a desperate last act to try to increase a tip on a table that everything seemed to be going wrong at. Sometimes is was just jacked-up at work and it complemented the energy. Either way, its not a bad thing, its not going to kill you and even if your buddies from high-school are sitting at the next table-it only gives you more of a reason to do it bigger and better. I'd rather look like a talented fool than just a fool.

TIPS-PART 2: How to generate good and consistent tips

#6. Have a system
You need to have a system for EVERYTHING. To start, develop a routine for greeting your table. If the company has requirements of you, get those integrated in your routine immediately. I always thought it was so embarrassing when servers were fired for missing a question on a secret-shopper. I know the requirements are usually a sales pushing tactic, but please just do them and keep the manager monkey off your back. I do recommend finding a way to integrate these requirements in a natural, flowing way...as if you are preparing for a speech. Allow the requirements to become less corporate and more 'you' thus sounding less like a puppet and more genuine.
Systems can be needed due to the set-up of the restaurant. For example: Does the kitchen have an 'IN' door and 'OUT' door? Are the doors close together or far apart? How can you work with their locations to create more efficient trips? Another example: Is there a section positioned the farthest from the kitchen or drink station? Mastering these sections by being as efficient as possible will only make you a Jedi-master at all the other 'easier' sections!
One step I always made before leaving my section was to turn around and look over each table. This often would remind me of something I needed to do, show me something I didn't know I needed to do (ie: drink refill) and generally gave me a moment to collect myself and create a plan of execution to prevent doubling back.
#7. Cheat Sheets The little black book you are given upon hire is your bible. Yes, I know it generally comes empty, but you will fill it. Most restaurants give cheat sheets on whats in each sauce, the specials list, the wine list, the draft list, etc...keep and covet these! People will try to steal them and please do not let them. These sheets will develop more details scrawled in the margins containing the really important information you will use everyday until memorized. For example: Mario the Spanish-speaking busboy taught me escoba, meaning: broom. We were always losing them to the kitchen staff and finding one that did not have the food gunk on the bristles made the word very valuable. Keeping it written in my book was very handy.
Another use for cheat sheets are for your regulars-or those you're trying to make your regulars. People are amazed at my ability to remember people and details of their lives. Sure, I do remember quite a bit, but some details I have jotted down. Remember these details are key components to developing and retaining your regular clientele. This may sound weird, but writing yourself a note saying: 'Mr. & Mrs. Shumaker's granddaughter is Anna, age 9' in order to reference in a future conversation (and look like a rockstar) is not that big of a deal. Once, I had a set of regulars with an autistic son who was 13. He didn't like the food at my restaurant and always ordered the kid's burger. Each time after dinner, he would give us commentary on how McDonald's hamburger was far superior to ours. Later we discovered he felt this way because he wanted pickles on his burger (yes, this took a little bit to figure out). After making a note of this and remembering to do it when he would visit-his experience was much more positive and his parents were no longer apologizing for his negative review after each dinner.
#8: No empty glasses or plates The guests at your establishment are not coming in to take up a collection of dishes. Nor is the size of their table an excuse to slack off. If something is empty, clear it. No one expects you to detail the table, but a reasonable attempt to clear as much as possible is expected at every table. #9: Your attitude is your income We have bad days, we have worse days, we have accidents, we have assholes, we have family troubles, bill troubles, guy troubles and hangovers. None of these troubles should be at the expense of your table. Each person came in to eat something good and be treated like a respected member of society. I'm not asking you to be cheerleader-perky, but I will tell you that your smile is the #1 dictator of your tip. In addition, there are actual psychological studies that have shown people when in a negative state of mind-the action of holding a tongue compressor between their teeth elevated their mood significantly in a short amount of time.
So, when you're having a really bad day, I recommend smiling more. Or a trick I use is to step into the cooler-take a few deep breaths (to get the bad ju-ju out) and remember-they didn't come in here to ruin your day, so control what you can control (your attitude) and even if the day is turning to shit-it will not going to be because you did not try everything in your power to make as much money as you could!
#10: Never overlook a potential problem This may repeat some of #2, but people generally only complain about a few things-its your job to handle it professionally and quickly. The three common complaints are: speed of service, food taste and appearance.
First of all, it is your job to keep an eye on how long your ticket has been in the kitchen. People expect to wait anywhere from 20-30 minutes on their food. Anything beyond 30 minutes and the guests begin to get antsy. All you can do is keep an eye on how long the front ticket is taking (to determine the average ticket time), be aware of the items that traditionally take a little longer to cook (to make your guest aware of that if its ordered) and when you're getting to the 20 minute mark let your table know that you know its been 20 minutes and how much longer you feel it will be for their food. If you feel its going to be over the 30 minute mark-get the manager to come with you on this visit. By bringing the manager this will show the guest the manager is aware of their situation (guests always think they're the only ones-dont they?) and addressing it. Also, you will have done everything in your power to prevent a complaint, making you look awesome to your boss.
Food taste can be tricky, but its usually less what you or the kitchen has done and more often just a personal preference. The best thing to do is ask the guest how they would like you to remedy the situation. Often their solution is a simple one and easy to execute. Always give them an idea of how long it will take to fix the dish-just in case they do not want to wait as long and are looking for a faster solution. And of course, make your manager aware.
Food appearance is an area I used to get really annoyed with. This is because its usually the kitchen trying to pass something off as 'good' when it looks like crap. Do NOT lower yourself to this kitchen mentality. They are cutting a corner and at YOUR expense. If they wont fix it, get the manager involved and refuse to take it out until it looks like it should. Rule of thumb: if it looks like crap to you, the guest will think it looks bad too. More often than not-if it looks bad, it tastes bad...and thus an even longer problem ensues.

Thank you for reading! ~C

TIPS PART ONE: How to generate good and consistent tips

When working for tips, I generally know what to expect. A statement such as this may seem odd to many, but as tips are the most unregulated form of payment, there are some general rules that a majority of people abide by and as a server-you can control it to a degree.
For those working in the business and looking for new ways to improve your service style, I have some good ideas on how to create consistent income. Or you can read Eric Ripert's On The Line which includes a dos and donts of service that is wonderful. But as none of the restaurants I have worked in have a Michelin star-my advice may be directed toward the vast majority of staff who hasn't either.
My Top 10 Dos and Don'ts of service with direct impact on your tip:
#1.THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT: Know your menu.
Know what the restaurant makes, what it doesn't make, what it has outsourced (if anything), request to learn how to do a line check (I hope your store does these). You should know the food so well-you can tell me what is off about the refried beans just by looking at them. You should be able to describe the sauce as well at the guy who makes it. Your customer CAN TELL if you know your menu-you don't think so? THEY CAN! You wear it all over your face when you stumble over the words 'sauteed' and 'chipotle'. And yes, you look like a schmuck every time. Especially, when you shuffle your feet as you talk and look everywhere other than at your guest.
Are you reciting specials? Do you have a specials card that your manager gave you (if your manager does not give you a specials card-ask for one!). Did you get to try the special? You may not have the specials memorized in the first five minutes of your shift, but that is NO excuse to deliver the wrong information to your guest. Reading off of a card does not look nearly as bad as delivering misinformation.
The menu is the first and most important piece of ammunition you receive when you begin working at a restaurant. If you know it well it will save you time and time again. If you don't know it it will be the ONLY reason you don't make as much money as the other guy, get the good sections, or get the respect from the kitchen staff. Most of all-it will be why you do not have REGULARS. I will talk more about regulars in another entry, but you want as many as you can get. Trust me.
#2. Do NOT pass tip-judgement on your table.
If anything, pass tip empathy. It is much less stressful to be empathetic than judgmental plus, it will ruin your entire day. Yes, I knew more-often-than-not I was sat a table who were less likely to give me a good tip. And yes, I have been given the tables of people who are looking for the free tab. And yes, I have had people dine-and-dash on my watch. You know what? There isn't dick you can do about it-most of the time.
My advice? Give them the best service. Go out of your way to schmooze. Never at the detriment of a tipping table, but enough for them to be completely unable to complain about the service. I know its exhausting, but it works. And to give yourself a little edge-when your 'spidey-senses' begin to tingle-go straight to the manager on duty and let them know you're getting a 'weird vibe' from the table and request they keep an eye on them. These actions will help two-fold. First, by both the manager and yourself giving stellar service and attention-you are taking away their potential complaint ammunition. Second, if you do get a service complaint and the manager isn't in the loop until the end-you additionally get in trouble for not making them aware of the situation-right? So giving the manager a 'heads-up' gives them the opportunity to head a complaint off at the pass AND gives you a second pair of eyes on this table and a little help. When/if the table does become predictable your manager will look at you and say something along the lines of, 'we did everything we could.' As opposed to reaming you for trying to take care of it yourself. See, the tip is secondary to a potential domino effect tables like these create. You almost gave bad service, didn't tell the manager, got your ass handed to you by ONE table AND got a crappy tip/stifted. Instead, you had help, you had support, no service complaint and possibly a bad tip/stifted. A few times, I even had a manager throw me a few dollars of his own or buy me a shift drink because when it was all said and done-I did my job exactly how it should have been done. So I ordered a big margarita and ended up ahead of that mess.

#3. Write it down!
I don't care if you can remember what you had for breakfast on March, 22nd 1984. Write down every detail of their order and keep it consistent with the seat numbers. Feel free to develop your own shorthand, for example: chicken=cx, beef=bf, sour cream=sc, monte cristo=monte, etc. Its usually easiest to utilize the shorthand on the kitchen printer. I was to the point that I could hand off my orders to anyone and they knew where I was and how to follow them. If God-forbid I had an accident (which has happened) the guest doesn't suffer as well.
As you're writing down their order, keeping the guests' drinks and food together and organized. (see photo) Also, repeat the order back-not with the likeness of a McDonald's drive-thru, but in acknowledgement of what they're saying (You: 'Excellent, the tilapia, with rice instead of the beans.'). It will amaze you how many times people hear what they said and realize they said the wrong item or they were not even be paying attention to what they ordered.
I haven't told you why its important to write down your orders yet, have I? This is why: in the restaurant business Murphy's Law ALWAYS applies! When you do not write down the order will be the moment the little girl at the next table spills her milk all over the floor, or the kitchen tries to send out your overcooked steak and you catch it on the pass, or another table decides its their birthday and needs a tutorial on what your establishment provides. There will always been something happening to distract you from the order you have tucked away haphazardly in your brain. Save yourself the mental strain, anguish and lower tip (for when you f*ck up the order) and write the damn thing down.
#4. Keep your guests in the loop.
How many times have you babysat another server's tables unintentionally because the guest had no idea where their server went or when they were coming back or if the server was bringing the guest what they had requested? You HAVE to give your tables the play-by-play. 'Ok, Im going to go enter your order and bring back drink refills. Is there anything else I can get while I'm away?....Sure, I'll bring some extra napkins along with the refills. Thank you.' This is hand-holding. This is good service. The guest knows what is coming, not to panic and waive down the next goober (with your luck the bitchy manager) for a refill-making you look inept, and they get to relax and enjoy the people they are with. My favorite is when the shift manager or that server who always tries to take over everyone's tables presumptuously comes up to one of mine and my guests tell them where I'm at and what I'm doing. I feel like a proud puppetmaster at that moment and it might be evil if it wasn't so genius.
Do this every single time you walk away from your table and it will make your job easier, your guest more relaxed and your tip increase.
#5. Pay attention to your volume.
Your volume is to reflect the environment not you. You need to be loud enough that your table can hear you clearly, but not the next table. Pretend there are walls around you and your table and only speak as loudly as that tiny room permits. Oh, and the tiny room echos-account for that. Servers who are too loud embarrass the guest, too quiet make you look new and nervous and make the guest uncomfortable. Your job is making people feel welcome. Alienating them with your volume is the road to not only a bad tip, but the guest not coming back period.
*To Be Continued...

This way of life I lead...

While my frequency of posting on my blog is sporadic at best-I think about my blog daily. I will always be happy that I began doing this 5 years ago and all I will regret is how I never pursued it more actively. It is easy, as an aspiring writer, to be intimidated by others who may have more experience writing. What do I write about? Is it possible that I wont sound stupid? Probably not.
Lately, I have been thinking about the path in life I chose. While this blog began about my trials and errors of a home cook-it was not meant to imply that my experiences in a restaurant or bar are limited as well. I have inadvertently made a 15 year (and counting) career out of the restaurant business. I didn't mean to. I have a degree in Psychology for God's sake. I'm supposed to be lobbying for the reform and elimination of abstinence-based sexual education programs in public schools!
Instead I work with the general public. I simplify the complexities that are, ordering food. Not complicated, you say? You're right its not...not until I give you the menu and see what amazing translation you come up with for such expressions as: 'two', 'or', 'and your choice of' or '6 oz glass'. My job isn't service. It's reading your expressions when I describe the specials and wait for you to cringe or get excited when I mention the fish special. It's to parlay your little bitchy comments about spice or avocado into recommendations of entrees without. My job is picking up on both the subtle and non-subtle cues you give me and remember them in hopes that you notice and are impressed.
I do love this business. I love the detail, I love the potential for both myself and my client, I love teaching someone new how to pay attention to such detail. I have grown to accept that a manicure for me is a big waste of money. My nails will never be long and shiny and my hands will always be rough, callused and crack in the winter. I will always go to work in a uniform and be treated as the 'help' by people who cant miss an episode of Top Chef. And yet, my friends will always think its cool that I don't sit in an office every day, but work in a kitchen. They will never RSVP 'no' to my dinner party without a really good reason, because they know their missing out on an amazing meal. And they value my opinion of a restaurant more than yours because I don't judge a restaurant by the quality of their cheese quesadillas.
I offer these comments to you not to be snide, but to offer perspective. Knowledge is nothing without the mental capacity to view it from a variety of angles.